Sugar Fall

Ah. Rian's stomach has cast up a perfectly good breakfast simply because it is in its nature to do so.

I think, today, that I am weary of MY nature. We all have such moods, yes? Rian has been tired this week...perhaps I am only over tired.

Weary. Tired of being 'delicate', of being strong. Of being 'nervy' or wild or passionate or still or wise or foolish or wicked or amusing or serious as Kings. Tired of being parent, lover, companion, confidant, irritation, flashfire and the creature who must pause to sick up whilst painting a simple door. Weary of being Perfect and Horrible at the same time.

Perhaps it is the string of Holiday Events slowly lining up. Perhaps it is the grey weather and the endless row of things Rian must FINISH. Perhaps it is being far away from loved ones, far away unto even death.

I want, today, only to be nothing at all.