Flat Lined

Lately I have been feeling very unRian. In fact, the last time I felt very much like mySelf was during Keppet's visit. Apparently Hobblings are good for the soul.

Someone Else has been extremely overwhelmed and miserable at work for the last several weeks. He works 17 hours a day every day. As a result he is tired and does not eat correctly and slightly panic ridden and has begun having chest pains. He did this in November. THAT time he scheduled an EKG without telling Rian about the pains. The tests came back fine. Hurtburn, perhaps, his doctor suggested.

So this time, although I know it is most likely not the heart, one worries and watches and quietly frets.

My parent is not doing very well lately, either. There have been blood transfusions after blood transfusions. It is nothing unexpected. But it is still disconcerting.

So. I realized, last night, where the absence of anything but silence in my head has come from. It is exactly how I felt as a child, watching my mother die for years on end. It is...WAITING. The emotions disappear and one puts one foot before the other, waiting. Just waiting. There is no pain, no unhappiness, no true fear. Emotion flatlined. Listening quietly. Waiting.

Perhaps ye should call me Godot.