Neologism

From the Washington Post's yearly neologism contest:

1. Coffee(n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted(adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate(v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade(v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly(adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent(adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph(v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle(n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence(n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash(n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle(n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude(n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by Proctologists.
13. Pokemon(n.), a Rastafarion proctologist.
14. Oyster(n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish.
15. Frisbeetarianism(n.), (back by popular demand) The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up to the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent(n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.