Scenes From An American Expedition
(or Reasons Why Rian feels old)
1. Playing Before&After, Dirty Scrabble, Apples To Apples on the seven hour bus trip with beer in hand and legs crossed because there is no water in the loo and the toilet is already 'full'.
2. Crossing the border in apparent ease until, as the Canadian Mountie is stepping off the bus, a Very Young Associate jokingly whispers 'Thank God that's over, the heroine bag up my arse is starting to ITCH.' ...the Mountie had very good ears but also, luckily, a soft heart.
3. Discovering that the Big White Resort is owned by Antipodeans and as such filled with Australian youngsters working for Summer Break. Sexpot tones and friendly young creatures EVERYWHERE. As such, Rian existed in a haze of hot blooded bliss. (Rian was not the only one, most female and perhaps male eyes could not leave the dark haired, limpid eyed, scrawny waitor George. Alas, he had a 'Sheila'.)
4. Prowling the loft bed in the Condo. Straining over the wall and peering over the edge. "Tis all over, I am going to jump!" shouts Rian to Someone Else below. Every time Rian climbed the loft to sleep or dress. Someone Else is a patient creature.
5. Taking the gondolas to dinner in a blowing snow storm, seated across from two very young Canadians reeking of BC Bud. 'H-h-help.' chattered Rian. The Canadians only laughed and DID NOT offer a toke.
6. The rooftop hot tub would not heat. And all the food was TERRIBLE.
7. Traveling from the Mountain top to Okanagan below for a Wine Tour. Stopping the bus first at a strip mall because A) one creature needed to purchase beer at a Wal Mart and B) Rian wanted to find the smalled possible tequlia bottle in a nearby liquor store. Canadian Wal Marts carry no beer. The smallest bottle of tequila in the liquor store was 375 ml. Rian purchased it anyway. And discovered Absinthe Stocked.
8. Crossing the Okanagan bridge and nearly falling over Larry the Busdriver in an attempt to spot the Canadian 'Loch Ness Monster'.
9. Falling in love with the winery architecture whilst every other creature fell in love with the winery WINE. Vinegar disguised. Although the pretentious 'gargling' was quite amusing, especially when another Young Associate nearly choked to death attempting the Red.
10. Convincing Someone Else to take snow boarding lessons - next time.
11. Being interrupted by a Australian Room Service bloke whilst kanoodling. "Room service!...Oh, SHIT." Only an Aussie would put it suchly. Rian should have invited the fellow in.
12. Second dinner, worse food, Rian lead hijinks at the Mormon Table. Rian taught Brady how to sculpt flaming candles (and thought of Ash). Brady taught Rian how to 'catch the flame'.
13. Grand Marnier Gun Barrel after dinner coffees for all. (Rian had Gun Barrel hot cocoa, yes?) and the stagger through the snow - "I don't feel ANYTHING" - back to the Condos. Did we slide down the ice? The dripping dripping silk blue flame was beautiful:
http://www.skisnowboard.com/bigwhite/dining.html
14. Rian challenging another Young Associate to wear her fluffy tube scarf. As a dress. It fit. Tightly. Rian was too tipsy to remember camera. Drat. Mater should have been there to take knitting notes.
15. Saturday's late night poker game and the very very drunk Partner who introduced us all to his 'Fantasy Friend, Roger.' Rian attempted to learn better poker, with small results. "What is the blind, love?" And was forced to stay up far far far past bedtime. As the vodka tippled around, shouts from the gallery of: "UNWANTED touching, Roger!" Oddly, Rian thought of skittledog. Luckily the conference room had a working loo.
16. The long winding drive back home through snow and rain to another party of SuperBowl nature and inedible food. Rian's insides may never recover.
The drifts of perfectly untouched white snow, the cloudy green of Horrible Absinthe, the bronze carol of the bells in the winery bell tower, the Antipodean 'No Worries' and the dripping blue flame are what most sticks in Rian's mind.
The knit tube dress may be a close second....
1. Playing Before&After, Dirty Scrabble, Apples To Apples on the seven hour bus trip with beer in hand and legs crossed because there is no water in the loo and the toilet is already 'full'.
2. Crossing the border in apparent ease until, as the Canadian Mountie is stepping off the bus, a Very Young Associate jokingly whispers 'Thank God that's over, the heroine bag up my arse is starting to ITCH.' ...the Mountie had very good ears but also, luckily, a soft heart.
3. Discovering that the Big White Resort is owned by Antipodeans and as such filled with Australian youngsters working for Summer Break. Sexpot tones and friendly young creatures EVERYWHERE. As such, Rian existed in a haze of hot blooded bliss. (Rian was not the only one, most female and perhaps male eyes could not leave the dark haired, limpid eyed, scrawny waitor George. Alas, he had a 'Sheila'.)
4. Prowling the loft bed in the Condo. Straining over the wall and peering over the edge. "Tis all over, I am going to jump!" shouts Rian to Someone Else below. Every time Rian climbed the loft to sleep or dress. Someone Else is a patient creature.
5. Taking the gondolas to dinner in a blowing snow storm, seated across from two very young Canadians reeking of BC Bud. 'H-h-help.' chattered Rian. The Canadians only laughed and DID NOT offer a toke.
6. The rooftop hot tub would not heat. And all the food was TERRIBLE.
7. Traveling from the Mountain top to Okanagan below for a Wine Tour. Stopping the bus first at a strip mall because A) one creature needed to purchase beer at a Wal Mart and B) Rian wanted to find the smalled possible tequlia bottle in a nearby liquor store. Canadian Wal Marts carry no beer. The smallest bottle of tequila in the liquor store was 375 ml. Rian purchased it anyway. And discovered Absinthe Stocked.
8. Crossing the Okanagan bridge and nearly falling over Larry the Busdriver in an attempt to spot the Canadian 'Loch Ness Monster'.
9. Falling in love with the winery architecture whilst every other creature fell in love with the winery WINE. Vinegar disguised. Although the pretentious 'gargling' was quite amusing, especially when another Young Associate nearly choked to death attempting the Red.
10. Convincing Someone Else to take snow boarding lessons - next time.
11. Being interrupted by a Australian Room Service bloke whilst kanoodling. "Room service!...Oh, SHIT." Only an Aussie would put it suchly. Rian should have invited the fellow in.
12. Second dinner, worse food, Rian lead hijinks at the Mormon Table. Rian taught Brady how to sculpt flaming candles (and thought of Ash). Brady taught Rian how to 'catch the flame'.
13. Grand Marnier Gun Barrel after dinner coffees for all. (Rian had Gun Barrel hot cocoa, yes?) and the stagger through the snow - "I don't feel ANYTHING" - back to the Condos. Did we slide down the ice? The dripping dripping silk blue flame was beautiful:
http://www.skisnowboard.com/bigwhite/dining.html
14. Rian challenging another Young Associate to wear her fluffy tube scarf. As a dress. It fit. Tightly. Rian was too tipsy to remember camera. Drat. Mater should have been there to take knitting notes.
15. Saturday's late night poker game and the very very drunk Partner who introduced us all to his 'Fantasy Friend, Roger.' Rian attempted to learn better poker, with small results. "What is the blind, love?" And was forced to stay up far far far past bedtime. As the vodka tippled around, shouts from the gallery of: "UNWANTED touching, Roger!" Oddly, Rian thought of skittledog. Luckily the conference room had a working loo.
16. The long winding drive back home through snow and rain to another party of SuperBowl nature and inedible food. Rian's insides may never recover.
The drifts of perfectly untouched white snow, the cloudy green of Horrible Absinthe, the bronze carol of the bells in the winery bell tower, the Antipodean 'No Worries' and the dripping blue flame are what most sticks in Rian's mind.
The knit tube dress may be a close second....
posted by La Tulipe | 11:04 AM
2 Comments:
{eyes blue flame} ooOOOooo...
Sounds like a Terribly Exciting Weekend. No worries.
Maaaaate. *grins* Someone had to say it, eh?
And yes, it does sound exciting. A regular old Aussie shindig.
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