Cowardly

Before I had a family, I used to comfort myself with the idea that if grief or pain ever grew too strong, I could simply take a handful of pills and die. That extra out gave me comfort and courage.

I know I have said this before.

Now that I have a family there is no longer that offramp.

And so instead I find myself chasing my tail and cowering in the corner as the pain wallops.

And lamenting that I must stay and FEEL.