Passing

September 17, 2007. At roughly 3 pm. Alone, but smiling.

Guilt

They say it is a normal part of greiving. Rian hopes this is true, becuase we are all suffering it.

Rian's brother said: "I wish this was just OVER. But I feel guilty even saying it."

Yes.

Rian has begun to long for weekends spent AT HOME and not in this aeroplane or this aeroport or speaking to a parent who is no longer quite in this world.

I have dreams that all is well and then wake to remember that I will not ever again have a coherent conversation with this particular loved one and THEN I can not go back to sleep. There are no tears. Only loneliness.

Guilt for wishing it were over, and that we did not have to fear the monster in the darkness.

Seattle Pigs Plus One ClockWork Penguin

Rian Is Speechless

...but the Aidan Possibilities are endless. Perhaps we shall become Mutton Groupies and travel about to every Fair and Rodeo. Who needs stage parents when one has sheep?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutton_busting

Time Saver or Time Sink?

http://www.stumbledupon.com

Another Reason Why Rian Hates To Fly

http://www.coasttocoastam.com/gen/page2173.html?theme=light

Lows

Today Rian is feeling rather blue. This gradual shutting down of systems is rather like a rollercoaster always heading nose down. Mostly, I am busy enough not to think. Last night Heartsister called and spoke for a long time about what has changed and what will change and that made Rian dip a little.

Also, I am worried about Keppet. And, for that matter, Someone Else, who has to attend a funeral of a friend's daughter today.

I must remember to count my many many many blessings.