Your Band Name is:

The Stoned Wizards

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Your Theme Song is Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

"There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship?s smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves." You haven't been feeling a lot lately, and you think that's a good thing. The comfortable part is nice... but you should really work on numb.

What's Your Theme Song?

Possible Truths

"One lifetime is long enough
Is long enough to wait..."

- David Grey

Reasons Why

Shall Rian Join The Circus?

No

Perhaps Not

No, no! (Where is PETA?)

Well. Perhaps.

Very Well, Yes Indeed.

Rian Shall Pack Now

Contained

Lately Rian has been wondering if that giddy swelling to bursting feeling I have loved for so long, that growing and bubbling until the flesh strips away and I am free, free is not truly such a glittering spiritual thing after all, but perhaps a swirling black hole threatening bounds. A monster in its lair, waiting and laughing.

Is that why I prefer not to fall into instrospection? I do not want to see the growing gargoyle in the mirror? Be caught in the vortex? Vertigo! Vertigo! I imagine black sap at my core, rising.

Also. Rian's foot...the one I broke falling down the stairs three years ago...has suddenly started throbbing sharp claws. I have even caught mySelf limping. Most like it was walking on the beach, as uneven sand does odd things to one's balance. Yet, still. I find it irritating.

On the other hand, Rian is very much enjoying George R. R. Martin. I am neartly through with his Second.

And tonight Rian is allowed to give fake tattoos to a carnival crew.

...that is all.

Hmmm.

http://www.reason.org/events/

Reasons Why

Carpetless

Princess Cordelia and her Trusty Nag

Lost

Rian has somehow mislaid my Walking Shoes.

This is a problem, as Rian is expected to walk a small Race for the Cure on Sunday. It is only 5k, but somehow I do not think twould be wise to jaunt it in Jimmy Choos.

Rian's Walking Shoes are older than Rian's Marriage. Well broken in.

Where, o where have my beloved shoes gone? I wear them only for exercise, as they are hardly Haut Couture and grey with age...but one canna do without them.

Will Rian have to go purchase a new pair of sneakers and wear them unbroken in?

Oh, alas, alack! The trials and tribulations!

And, for that matter, where did the shoes go? Before Rian left for warmer climes they were sitting in the neatly organized shoe row of the neatly organized closet.

Perhaps they walked on to a Better Life.

Adventuring

Rian has:

1. Named the Saracen Princess Cordelia.

2. Spent a morning picking strawberries.

3. Eaten shovel fulls of Mexican food.

4. Purchased the World's Largest Stuffed Orca.

5. Become a Foolish Lobster when befor Rian was an Irish Halibut.

6. Bounced on a horse hair couch in the basement of an entirely green house.

7. Spent five hours at Sea World - again.

8. Glotzed nearly all of Carnivale I. (Contrived but addictive)

9. Finished A Game of Thrones. (Very Nice)

10. Discovered the Perfect Combination of Strawberry Vodka and Kiwi Liquor.

11. Sped on the 10 lane freeways.

12. Gotten lost amongst too much Dolce & Gabana.

...I am tired. Can Rian yet go Home?

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Black Market

Today Aidan has not yet puked and Rian purchased a 6 inch tall Saracen Princess and her Noble Stead.

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Carnivale is frightening and appealing one and the same. Rian had nightmares, confused, about the lame child running along fields of dying crops. What are the consequences of an action? The Reverend frightens Rian for the same reasons.
I was, however, pleased to pick out the Morris wallpaper.
This afternoon Aidan puked cheese pringles and juice all over the leather interior of Rian's father's Lexus. Rian has just finished scrubbing all clean. Enough said.
Tomorrow Heartsister is taking us up to LA for Marathon Shopping. Apparently.
Rian is sunburnt more. But on purpose.

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Summer

A flight full of Wallace and Gromit. Dinner in the form of four picked apart Starbuck's sandwiches. Bed with an electric blanket.

Morning after 8AM. Sunlight. A playhouse full of plastic knights and dragons and princesses and even a 3 headed dog. Rian was The Black Night of the Asparagus and also Sir Justin Timberlake.

Heat. Ball on the back lawn. Prowling between pots of succulants. Digging beneath the Torrey Pines. Rian is sunburnt.

Tortilla Soup for dinner and then first exposure to Carnivale.

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Treasure

Rian has Carnivale.

Will Rian fall adore it?

Glee

Glee. Rian's hardwood flooring, freshly ordered.

Possible Truths

"One day you wake up and discover your child has stolen a foot."

- Six Feet Under

Stretch

http://www.outtheremonthly.com/index.php?art=archives/mar06/power_yoga

You Go First

http://www.physorg.com/news63371210.html

Possible Truths

"Either that wallpaper goes or I do."

- Oscar Wilde, last words

Rian should very much like to go out with as much wit as Oscar.

Mop

Since Rian fired the maids, Rian has had to turn a hand to floor scrubbing. Every Saturday is Floor Scrubbing Day. Rian has discovered that, whilst bad for the back, floor scrubbing is in fact good for idle thoughts.

Todays idle floor scrubbing related thought:

The most important thing about owning an old house, Rian thinks, is POSSIBILITY. Yes, one must move from one room to the next, repairing peeling linoleum or cracked tile or woodrot or chipping paint. And no doubt the Very Ugly Peeling Wallpaper in Rian's upstairs bath will stay that way for at least another 6 months (making it 4 years of peeling wall paper), but...

One lives with such imperfections, because the POSSIBILITIES are there. The possibility of change, of improvement, of Perfection. What is life without possibility?

Possible Truths

"Let things unfold as they may."

- yogini

DreamSeeking

Last night Rian dreampt that I was standing between two busy freeways with my mother, who was having a stroke. I kept phoning 911 on the Crackberry, yes, but the woman who answered only told me that I was not worthy of aid.

I woke in a sweat and went back to sleep and this time Biped was a famous sculptor welding hearth irons into giant spiders in Rian's back yard. Her hair was very very short and blue and she was wearing a pink coat.

I woke and rolled over and the Board was entirely in a mathematic code that Rian could not read unless one had a calculator. Twas painful.

This time when Rian woke I lay awake trying to figure out how to end the other blog which has become a headache - I still have nadine and chili and Daymaster and...? - I think I shall have to end it in a Dallas-esque manner, with Patrick Duffy in the shower moaning:

"Who shot J.R.?

Moondown

In the deep of last night, as Rian was stalking a drink of water, I was interrupted by a small person's terrified summons.

And I froze for a moment, marveling for the first time, that there is at least one person in this world who, in helplessness and abject terror, calls MY name instinctively. *I* am comfort, aid and Fixer of All Things.

Tis a frightening thought.

Changeling

Today Aidan stuck a purple bead up his nose.

Obviously he has not RIAN'S intelligance.

More Reasons Why

Possible Truths

"What if the world we experience isn’t real, but merely a dream—perhaps someone else’s dream?"

- The Waking Life

Hardwood, More

This morning Rian wandered into a wellknown discount flooring store, in the hopes of Epiphany. I thought I had found it, in the form of beautiful dark wood flooring for a Wonderful Price.

"That is beautiful, isn't it?" the sales creature said, watching Rian stroke the sample. "Direct from the rainforest."

"Yip!", thought Rian, snatching hand back as if splintered. "Deforestation! Homeless parrots and salamanders and orchids and small Brazilian babies..."

"Yes," replied Rian, sadly. "It IS beautiful."

Why must everything beautiful have a dark side? And why does Rian not fret so much about the local hardwood?

"Ye gods of squid and monkfish," says Rian, resting head on keyboard, "perhaps I SHALL go with jesic's idea of Purple Shag."