Reasons Why

Irish Potato Farmer

Possible Truths

"Architecture would lead us to all the arts, as it did with earlier men: but if we despise it and take no note of how we are housed, the other arts will have a hard time of it."

- William Morris, 1880

A la dictionary.com

con·tain ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kn-tn)tr.v. con·tained, con·tain·ing, con·tains
1.
a.To have within; hold.
b.To be capable of holding.
2. To have as component parts; include or comprise: The album contains many memorable songs.
3.
a.To hold or keep within limits; restrain: I could hardly contain my curiosity.
b.To halt the spread or development of; check: Science sought an effective method of containing the disease.
4. To check the expansion or influence of (a hostile power or ideology) by containment.
5. Mathematics. To be exactly divisible by.

Grapefruit

Rian is, as we speak, eating grapefruit flesh from the point of a steak knife. Stab. Nibble. Suck. Stab. Nibble. Sluuurp. Emily Post would not approve.

So.

Last night Somone Else came through the door holding high a small box.

"I have a gift from a client," he teased. "And it is something you WANT."

"Oh?" said Rian, glancing up from a smoldering potato. "It is diamonds? Fancy technology? A TESLAR WATCH?"

"Even better." Someone Else opened the package and pulled forth a small pink and black striped container. "Look."

"Aiiii!" Rian cried, dropping charred carrots. "Take it away! Take it away! Ye gods of small fishes, take it away!"

Someone Else only laughed. "Yours." He dropped it on the kitchen counter, alongside the microwave.

BRUTTLES OLD FASHIONED SOFT PEANUT BRITTLE.

Rian loves peanut brittle, but this odd Spokaloo Confection, which Rian tasted for the very first time at the Davenport Christmas Gala, is better than primal sin.

The small black and pink box, sitting alongside the microwave still (notice Rian has not tossed it into the trash), pretending innocence, is sorely tempting Rian's previously unmatched stubborness.

Drat.

http://www.bruttles.com

Musical Genomics

http://www.pandora.com

Penguins 

Shark(s) 

More Reasons Why 

Harbor Seals 

Reasons Why 

Yet More Reasons Why 

Rian&Co. wandered through Sea World this morning. Whales, dolphins, sea lions, penguins and sharks for Emma.

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Holidays can be odd. The day started off well enough, Rian allowed to steal my Father's luxury car and light enough of heart to speed the machine far along relatively empty freeways to San Marcos.
And then a lovely and detailed brunch cooked by Heartsister. Rian had pineapple and a Mimosa and a Buck's Fizz.
The brunch went perfectly until Heartsister discovered the gift she had long ago picked out and treasured for Rian had disappeared from beneath her tree.
We all searched high and low but could not find it for her. She wept and wept; it was something special.
How I dislike being the source of unhappiness, even not directly.

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Cold fog has settled on the Coast but at Balboa Park, where Rian and Aidan first explored the model train museum and then collectively pretended to be Veronica Mars in Argentina, the sun beat down in white shadow cut squares. There were koi in the terrarium. Is it true that they grow and grow until the fishy heart canna support the elephantine body, never truly dying of old age?
Tomorrow is The Nutcracker.

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At the very center of the Aviara's marble floored foyer, arranged to fill a large round stone table is a forest of sculptural glass vases. All widths and lengths, curved and clear, living water frozen.
The vases are filled with hundreds of orchids, white, all, and pierced at the center with soft purple.

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Rian has just returned from a wander through The Lodge At Torrey Pines. It may well be Rian' most favoured place in the world.
The Greene&Greene imitation architecture is - please excuse Rian - nearly sexual in its beauty. Made to stroke and glotz and dream against.
Below the torrey pines and cliffs the sea was white and loud and angry, tossing up a thick salty mist.
We are in our finery and on the way to the Aviara for tea. That will be lovely, also, but not in the same simple viscereal manner as 19oos wood and stone.

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Last night Rian attended a family dinner. Heartsister cooked. Twelve or thirteen of Rian's near family attended, yes, of different generations.
Somehow - Rian does not remember- the topic came around to homosexuality. We argued the nature vs nurture theory. Rian believes that there is a gene or gene combination, just as Rian believes every bit of us is preprogrammed.
"There is no proof of that!" an Auntie argued.
"Homosexuality occurs in nature." Rian pointed out.
"No." The Auntie argued.
"Yes," John said,"Studies have been done. There are gay animals in nature."
"If there are," the Auntie said, "the other animals must shun them."
"What?" Rian choked forgetting the more polite 'beg pardon'.
Later the conversation turned to a family friend who is a near Olympic safaree style hunter.
"He eats everything he catches," said the same Auntie.
"You mean he shoots animals?" Heartsister cried.
"Don't worry love," Rian said, disgusted and snide, "only the gay ones."
Naughty Eldest Child.

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Sometimes Home is like the sinking of a slow warm quick sand, so slow and warm that one can watch oneself absorb into the old memories, good and bad, becoming once again nothing more or less than Eldest Child. Such an easy sink and the panic in the breast easily ignored.
We have an 8 foot glimmering tree, perfect for hiding behind with a book. Last night Rian sat beneath it with Keppet's Profit. There is irony in that, I think.

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Some creature in Rian's family shares name with a TSA non fly target. Many whispering telephone phone calls and odd acronyms are resulting.

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Reasons Why

Preflight Last Meal Pancake Before

More Reasons Why

Preflight Last Meal Pancake After

Yip!

Packing...packing...packingpackingPACKING...packing...PACKING...

Possible Truths

"Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
The bird of dawning singeth all night long;
And then, they say, no spirit can walk abroad;
The nights are wholesome; then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time."

- William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Admissions

Rian has stolen Someone Else's never used iPAQ.

It is going to rule Rian's world.

Splinters

Sometimes Rian thinks that life is not, after all, a bowl of cherries but in truth a Wooden Ladyship's deck.

A rollercoaster ride, that, if we stick with cliches. And the wind beneath your sails.

But tis the rough wood that interests Rian. Sometimes tis enjoyable to run your hands over that weave and warp, but other times, many times - yip! - a splinter under the flesh.

A hurtful word or an irritating event or a frightening episode. Snag, poke, stab and there it lodges. Painful at first, and we may pick at it. Eventually, if we do not obliderate it with a nice sharp pair of tweezers, the splinter is mostly forgotten, left to callous or fester, depending. Yes?

Rian has a good sized forest of calloused splinters beneath my flesh. Things from childhood, youth, adulthood. I am not much of a festerer. Wounds are hidden and packed away, rarely thought of.

And yet they are still there, those small splinters of life. And they itch or twinge in Rian's dreams.

I grow tired of nightly pummeling by subcutaneous splinters.

Quest

Fifty points to any creature who can discover for Rian what hiqureimasu might mean or refer to.

Rian has tried already and failed.

But there are better souls than I about.

Possible Truths

"The gloom of the world is but a shadow; behind it, yet, within our reach, is joy. Take Joy."

- Fra Giovanni (A.D. 1513)

Fever Dreams

Drat Q's Dream Veronica.

Last night Rian dreamPt I was balancing on the edge of the Coronado Bay Bridge (ala Logan) with a bottle of champange in one hand and a telephone in the other. Standing on the bridge, watching Rian with mouthes agape were, in various order:Veronica Mars, Bliss, George Bush Sr., Santa Claus, a myriad of Hobblings, and Joel.

Joel was laughing. So was Rian. I remember twirling around and around but thank the small gods Dream Rian did not jump. I probably would have died of a heart attack in bed if I had.

Later Rian dreamPt that I explored a Greek temple found in mosiac form beneath a wading pool in Dr. Lorimer's back yard. Finally, the same genetics professor made Rian shovel her driveway and the sidewalk.

I still have not recovered.

Reply

Hi Rian,*

I'm so glad to get a response from you. Rian* Davis!? Way to move up the alphabet!

Wow you have memories I forgot about. Barefoot still doesn't ring a bell. Oh and getting hit in the head with a piece of wood? I could have sworn that was Joel. Maybe after I came to, my brother told me that so he wouldn't get in trouble.

Of course I still remember the days of D&D. "I can be any class I want but don't mess with Rian's kinder. And when that thing starts taunting, look out!" I was recently recanting old D&D stories with my future brother in-law, whose really into it. Of course in the kid version, each character has 18 everything, unlimited food, and unlimited weight limit. "I had a ten-foot pole but DM said it broke, so I got out the other one." Oh and didn't John and I name all our female characters after girls we liked in school!? Other popular memories: the blue lion, Robotech,Joel's Star Wars collection.

I finally revamped the wardrobe since those red shorts were against my company's dress-code.

White cats got chased for a very long time. Now there are brown cats to chase.

Back to modern times, yeah, it's nice that my parents are still living in the house I grew-up in. I enjoy those visits (not as if their house is any cleaner). My mother is still teaching piano (a hobby I sort-of lost after 18) and isn't showing any major signs of slowing down yet. My father is also still teaching at SDSU even though he's at retirement age by now.

Joel didn't really have much to say except that he would be away and hard to reach until mid-December. Here's his e-mail address if you'd like to try him:abcd@abcd.com*.

Here's a photo of Vickie and myself. It was taken in my office in Germany when she was there visiting me. We did that for two years and then lived together back here for two so I guess you could say I know what I'm getting myself into.

I wont be in Del Mar for Christmas but I do get down there a few times a year, usually over holidays so if you're ever planning a trip down, let me know. Haven't heard from John yet but I'm looking forward to it.

Again, great to hear you and your family are doing well (both Sinnotts and Davises).

The Naked Sprinter*

*edited for privacy

Christmas Pleasures

Rian&Friends have adopted a 'needy family' for Christmas. Tis a single mom with two little girls.

The mother submitted a list of the things they would like, yes? Mostly it is necessities. Clothes, shoes, towels. McDonald's Money 'for a treat'.

Rian has purchased a nice set of towels. And I will pick up the McDonald's Money. Shoes and most clothes have been taken care of.

There is little mention on the list of toys....colouring books and crayons, it says. As their apartment is too small for bigger items.

I wish I could think of something that would bring pleasure to the the children, but also, especially, to the mother. Something sinfully delightful that she would never in a life time spend precious money on, but also something WONDERFUL. I do not know if she likes chocolate. I do not know if she has a bath. I do not know if she gets her hair cut...

Rian wishes the Perfect Idea would fall from the sky and hit me on the head.

Possible Truths

"And through a fractal on that breaking wall
I see you my friend and touch your face again"

- Seal

Curiousity

Dear Naked Sprinter*,

Holy cow and pass the Coronas, what a surprise! Dad read your Christmas card to me over the phone and I had to laugh. I can still remember small Stephen Underhill in his red corduroy shorts getting hit over the head with a stick by his older brother! Playing with G.I. Joe in the dirt pile. Chasing white fluffy cats under the Music Addition. Climbing the Torrey Pines barefoot and rolling the D&D dice in Pat's basement.

It sounds like you are doing very well. I am glad. And Brian and Pat, also.

Have you heard yet from John?

I am living in ice cold Spokane, WA - insert desperate shivers here - and have been for the last seven years or so. I married my short, green eyed, sharp tongued College Love....ye gods...nearly 12 years ago. We have one child and three cats in a house that is nearly 100 years old. I am very happy.

So, then, what did Joel says he was up to? Was he well? I have not spoken to him for a very long time.

A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you - I think of our barefoot pack whenever I am home from Christmas and hear the music wafting from your mom's studio.

Rian*

*names have been changed to protect the semi-Innocent

Pandora's Box

So. One of Rian's childhood pack...we shall call him the Naked Sprinter, yes? The Naked Sprinter sent Rian a Christmas card c/o Rian's childhood address.

Rian's father said: "You win the Most Suprising Christmas Card Of The Year award."

I do not think I have spoken to the Naked Sprinter, truly, since I was 18 years old. Or such. He has send updates on most of the pack...apparently he has used Mater's favorite button to find most of them. The Naked Sprinter is selling insurance of some kind in Northern California. His brother is a psychologist in LA, and has two children. And Joel, he has found Joel!

Rian has never dared. Not since Joel last telephone Rian with a mad message. Rian is nibbling fingernails thinking of it. How curious I am! What is Joel doing? We were heart twins for so long. Is he happy? Is he sane? Is he gay? Is he straight? Is he rich, poor, in love, lonely, busy, sleeping?

Rian has the Naked Sprinter's email. I shall wish him a Merry Christmas. Shall I ask about Joel? I cannot decide. Would it open the lid of something better left locked?

PG -13

Whilst driving Over The RiverAnd Through The Woods to fight with the mobile phone man, Rian got caught behind a very slow Ford pickup.

Stuck to the bumper of said pickup was a sticker reading exactly in this manner:

"If you don't like oral sex close you're mouth."

Pithy sentiment. Horrible spelling. Tacky Result.

Veritas

Wherein the Innocent snow villagers discover that Cruel Fate has produced a Natural Predator and not even Rockingham School can avoid Blood on the Snow.

Yes? No? Maybe So.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/S/SPOKANE_MAYOR?SITE=INEVA&SECTION=US

Bodies

When one grows up confronted, daily, by evidence that the body is fallible, does one then begin to discount its importance?

Did Rian grow up a creature of divorced spirit and flesh because as a child I learned how unreliable skin and bone and brain and lung could be? Did Rian grow up reaching for something else as permanence? Something less tangible but perhaps, in the end, strudier?

And yet I see beauty in the flesh. In the curve of a collarbone or the length of a leg or the elusive glint of light across a red mane of hair.

It will not be Rian's body that is remembered, but Rian's presence.

A Long Way Down

http://www.melor.com/gallery/photo.php?photo=772&u=4675...

Rainbow Glow

The Keppet Hat becomes everyone's newest Must Have accessory.

Lemon or Lime

Tomorrow is the all important Christmas Gala.

Rian is mildly pleased, yes? It is, as usual, to be held at the Davenport. The ball room will no doubt be lovely, with Christmas trees to waltz about and swags and swags of greenery.

We are staying overnight in a room so as not to attempt the snow at odd hours. This, also, is always wonderful. The beds are as high as an elephant's eye. Rian shall have to bring a step stool just to find the pillows.

I do wonder, a ttch, about the Wildness Level this year. Many of the younger associates have quit, been fired or, in the case of one poor young man, been given a leave for work related depression. Last year we were a wild group. Tequila shots are, apparently, part of the tradition.

This year Rian thinks we will be sitting with the new Mormon Contigent. They are wonderful people but I do wonder if the Wildness Level will be zoned down a ttch.

The Snow That Keppet Missed

It is Cold.